Ep #140: Debt Is Not a Dirty Word

Welcome to The Money Coach School Podcast. To really excel at coaching women, you have to be skilled, confident, and even fearless at money coaching. If you're passionate about women holding genuine money power and love supporting women entrepreneurs, then this is the show for you. Now, here's your host, money feminist Kendall SummerHawk.

Hey, woman entrepreneur. Welcome back to The Money Coach School Podcast. Today we're talking about a topic that I normally don't bring up that often. Yes, we're going there. We're going to talk about debt. And we're talking about the emotional pattern around debt and what starts changing financially when you stop relating to debt like it defines you. Because debt, yeah, it's not a dirty word.

This is actually a topic that I don't talk about publicly very often. But I do inside my Secret Energy of Money mentoring program. So I was recently leading a coaching session for my clients inside of Secret Energy of Money on this topic and I realized how much women entrepreneurs need to have a very different conversation around debt. Not another conversation about financial guilt, not another conversation that makes debt feel heavy or hopeless or morally loaded. But an honest conversation where debt stops meaning failure. One where women stop postponing their future until every credit card balance disappears. One where financial leadership and self-respect and wealth building can begin long before the debt is fully gone.

You know, too many women entrepreneurs are carrying debt like it disqualifies them from being financially powerful. And it doesn't. So today I want to walk you through three vital shifts that have the power to completely change your relationship with debt. Before we dive in, go ahead and click the follow button. You do not want to miss an episode. I am your money coach and every episode here is designed to help you increase your income, grow your profit, and feel in control of your money. So, click that subscribe or follow button, whichever it is on the podcast player that you're using right now, and let's get into it.

All right, shift number one: Stop relating to debt like it defines you. You know, at some point, very early on, actually, debt stops feeling purely financial. It starts affecting how you see yourself. Maybe you start thinking, I should have figured this out by now, or I'm behind, or other women seem so much further ahead financially. Or you tell yourself, once this is gone, then I'll feel financially powerful.

That shift from debt being just a number to debt becoming identity matters so much more than you might realize. Because once debt becomes identity, women start postponing their future. It's very common for me to see you might be postponing saving money, raising prices, building reserves, what I call your money peace account, paying yourself at all or paying yourself better, thinking long-term, creating more financial structure, feeling financially capable right now. And we don't want to postpone any of that.

So a lot of women entrepreneurs are waiting to feel powerful with money until later. Later when the debt is gone, later when the numbers look different. Later when they finally feel caught up, whatever that means. Debt becomes this invisible line between who you are now and who you believe you're allowed to become. And that's the part I really want to challenge. Debt is not supposed to become your identity. Debt is just a financial circumstance. I want you to think of it as a season or a chapter in your life. Nothing more permanent than that. Financial leadership starts long before debt disappears.

The women who become financially strong are rarely waiting for perfect circumstances first. They start becoming financially powerful while they are still paying down debt, while they are still learning, while they are still changing their money habits, while they are still paying things off. This is the first shift right here, is to stop relating to debt like it defines who you are.

All right, shift number two: Separate responsibility from shame. This is one of the biggest emotional shifts women entrepreneurs need around debt. Responsibility and shame are clearly not the same thing. Responsibility says, I'm willing to face this. I'm willing to change this. I'm willing to make different decisions. I'm willing to stop avoiding my numbers. I'm willing to build a different relationship and a connection with money starting today.

Shame on the other hand, sounds very different. Shame is saying things like you failed, you ruined things. You should feel bad about this until it's fixed, or maybe even after it's fixed, you still feel bad about it. Obviously, shame and responsibility, totally different energies. Responsibility creates movement. Shame creates avoidance, emotional spiraling, and financial paralysis. And that's why you'll see one woman feeling proud that she's paying off her debt versus the woman who is shame spiraling. And I get it. A lot of women entrepreneurs spend years trying to emotionally punish themselves into better money habits. That doesn't work. And self-punishment is not stewardship and stewardship is what you want with money.

Stewardship is the ability to handle money honestly, intentionally, and consistently. Stewardship is self-respecting. Stewardship says, I can create stability while I pay off debt. I can look at my numbers without emotionally spiraling. Stewardship is saying, I can make more thoughtful financial decisions instead of reactive ones. It's saying I can save money while paying down debt. This is something I coach everybody who has debt. I coach everybody to do this. It's saying I can raise my prices instead of undercharging from fear. I can build trust with myself financially. And I can create a completely different future with money from here forward today.

Now that approach, it changes everything for you. You do not need shame to stay committed. You do not need panic to become financially responsible. You know, real financial stewardship looks very, very different. It looks like staying engaged with money consistently. It looks like looking at your numbers honestly and frequently, making decisions with intention, creating stability over time, and continuing to move forward instead of disappearing emotionally every time money feels uncomfortable. And that's where financial stability begins getting created. Not through guilt, not through shame, not through emotionally beating yourself up, but through consistency and honesty and self-respect. So that's the second shift. Separate responsibility from shame.

Shift number three: Stop postponing your financial power. This one is huge. So many women entrepreneurs unconsciously believe they are not allowed to fully become their future self until the debt is gone. So they delay wealth building, saving, investing, paying themselves better, thinking bigger financially, and creating overflow in their business. So it's like everything gets pushed out into the future to some undetermined date, way off in the calendar. But you can change your financial reality long before debt fully disappears. You change it when you stop avoiding your numbers. You change it when you create a real payoff plan, when you start saving while paying down debt. I've coached, I don't even know how many people. I've lost count of how many people I've coached to do this. It shows up for you when you raise your prices instead of undercharging from fear. When you stop emotionally reacting to money and when you start making decisions from a place of leadership instead of shame. This is where the shift begins.

You know, many women are spending enormous emotional energy carrying shame around debt instead of building a stronger relationship with money moving forward, starting today. So yes, you are allowed to build wealth while resolving debt. You are allowed to become financially strong before everything is perfect. Yes, you are allowed to become your future self right now. Not five years from now, not once every balance disappears, but right now.

So, as you move forward from this episode, here are the three shifts I really want you to remember. Shift number one, stop relating to debt like it defines you. Debt is a circumstance. That's it. It's not your identity. It's not your future. It's not your worth. Shift number two, separate responsibility from shame. You do not need shame, self-punishment, or emotional suffering in order to become financially responsible. You want stewardship, and stewardship is learning how to handle money honestly, intentionally, and consistently. And that's what starts creating financial stability. And shift number three, stop postponing your financial power. You are allowed to build wealth while resolving debt. You are allowed to become financially stronger before everything is perfect. And you are allowed to become your future self right now.

This is the conversation I want every woman entrepreneur carrying debt to start having. Because debt, it's not a dirty word. Debt does not get to decide the size of your future. Really take that in. Debt does not get to decide the size of your future. The balances you carry today do not determine the level of financial power that you are capable of creating. And the woman you are becoming does not need to wait for every balance to disappear before she starts leading financially, building wealth, and creating a completely different future with money.

All right, so if you're ready to create a stronger, more self-respecting relationship with money, where financial decisions become clear, debt stops feeling emotionally consuming, profit increases, and you start building real financial stability while becoming more financially powerful, that's exactly the work that we do inside Secret Energy of Money. You can go to SecretEnergyOfMoney.com  to check it out and request a conversation to talk with one of my master coaches to see if Secret Energy of Money is right for you. And I'll link to it in the show notes as well.

So the thought I love to leave you with is this: You are here for more. More money peace, more money power, more unapologetic wealth on your terms. This is your money empowerment era and I am so here for it and I am so here for you. All right, thank you my beautiful soul. Thank you for listening and I will see you in next week's episode.

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